saturday

its saturday morning, the sun is shining and its barely 20 degrees........perfect. its a good day for a walk to clear the cobwebs. a long walk around town, maybe take the bike path that meanders through like an oasis. the walk will do my body good. the long winter of darkness is slowly changing, and while spring in new england is definitely not in the air the promise of better days lies around every corner. this is my 52nd january, if my math is correct and rather than moan about the weather, complain endlessly of blocked storm drains and dead batteries i will celebrate today and every day that i can get up and put one foot in front of another and make my way out into this great ,vast universe of ours and and simply enjoy the beauty of it all. as we get older we tend to treat time differently, value it more, realize its not infinite, it will end as surely as it began. its the cycle of life and we're stuck in the middle. i'm off to see the wizard........jc

high school

i graduated high school in 1974, a mere 35 years ago but oh so much longer when you start to compare, to look around. we thought we knew everything back then but now a combination of technology, a greying of the grey matter and the unrelenting wave of information have ganged up to make us....stupid? theres just too much stuff we have to know. if i could make myself stay up 24 hours a day, read twelve newspapers [a dying medium i know but i love them] watch all the news shows, listen to hundreds of radio stations and blog myself silly i would STILL be falling behind. theres so much i want to know but its hard to seperate the important things from thefiller that fills our minds daily. that might be the idea, bomb us with everything and we remember nothing. a happy society is a confused society? this whole world we live in could just be a goverment plot gone awry. we''ll never really know, will we?it would explain why we continue to let politicians and wall streeters to ''manage'' our money, our lives. is free will gone? have we ever really had it? i'm dying to know, and thats probably when i will.........next blog, more stuff from the past, love ya''ll, jc

florida dreaming

no i'm not dreaming about florida today because the temp outside is below freezing, the windchill is downright nasty and snow is in the forecast......its because 34 years ago come october myself and three friends left our small new england town, our lives and our families and stuck our collective thumbs out and headed south to the promised land, florida.we picked a tiny spot on the map, halfway down the eastern seaboard and made vague plans to meet. the spot later turned out to be nowhere really but it didn't matter. we traveled in twos, mr. stu, resplendent as ever and myself formed one hitching duo. the other half of our traveling party consisted of a newly formed couple, who shall remain nameless as it wasn't the most popular decision in their respective families, needless to say. i don't know why i'm being so guarded, after all these years. the one or two readers i have were either there or knew thereof. for those who stumble across my rantings, enjoy. however, the other two, hereas known as mr. ace and miss face, years later got married and to this day astonish the children with tall tales of chilvary and undying love amidst the swamps of Fla. the children however just think they were crazy. somewhere in the middle lies the truth. it was quite the trip and i'm sure after all these years some of it will remain lost to time. a few nuggets will continue to surface as we gather round campfires and annual gatherings and rehash the old days. the trip will always define us, as a group, a group of friends who one day, along time ago abandoned reason and our little lives for a journey, a journey we are still making. i''ll write some more as memory permits, peace out, jc

leaving maine

went up to maine this weekend, family stuff. maine is a hard place to visit this time of year. actually went down to pine point and walked on the beach. why you ask? because it was there. i love walking on the beach and just because it was24 degees with a howling wind wasn't going to stop me. i mean i felt no inclination to jump in nor did my sister nance. we were just killing a little time before a late lunch and figured it wouldn't kill us. well i am writing this so we were right, to a point. beside a healthy dose of fresh air and a stinging across my forehead we found several sand dollars and a new found respect for the gulls who hang out here all year long. i do recommend the beach to people who like to get out and reflect but they might be wise to wait for some warmer temps. as for me, i'm going back up in a few weeks. just because i can. and for family......jc says goodnight and godspeed

night in winter

just got in, its winter in new england and cold has settled into our bones and in our minds as well. the temp changes slightly from day to day but its at night when the cold muffles out the usual sounds. where the insects rule a summer night and the soft winds beckon you outside to see a shining moon at its best, the winter night is silent, almost dead. most everthing is hunkered down, barely moving. spring will come in a burst of green, the dead will rise, the earth will tilt and a brand new spirit will move among us. but for now, for a little while longer, winters boot remains. jc........buenos noches

friends

i think as we get older you start to look around and maybe gauge how you look and feel by the company you keep. i've known a quite alot of people for quite alot of time and its always interesting to get together and compare war stories and remember the good old days. of course these days talk of funerals and do you remember that kid we used to go to school with are more prevalent than perhaps the things we used to ponder, like do you wanna play frisbee and smoke some bones? of course we did but thats another story. most people , well most people who are now well into their 50's will tell you they feel no different now as when they were slumming about in their 20's.....its a lie of course but a mostly harmless one. the reflexes slow, hair recedes [i;m speaking only of myself] and i also believe attitudes tend to change too. whereas most things tend to be black and white, right or wrong in your youih, age sort of irons out the differences and mellows the judgement. the many shades of grey rule the day as we get older. i'd like to think its wisdom calling but it just might be a surrender, a quiet peace. well enough sad talk for today, its time for some red wine and relaxation.........jc says goodnight

smarts

i was wondering the other day, do we, as a people get smarter as we age? the old saying used to be with age comes wisdom. i'm not sure if that is really true. we get forgetful as we get older, we tend to remember happier times as we get older as opposed to bad things. i know there are moments from the past that you would swear on a stack of pancakes that it happened exactly that way and then well, maybe.....doubt creeps in. the moment that once seemed so crystal clear becomes smudged like a dirty window. memory is a strange part of our lives, like a recording, an inner voice that everyone has . the problem is , like the body, the mind ages too. wo don't always notice at first the subtle changes. it might be a natural defense, the slowing of the clock, a reminder of what is due. on that note, i bid adieu, take good care gentle readers and don't forget, stay in tune.....jc

one day

one day, one day is all it takes. all around you, everything you ever knew, loved, believed in, hoped for, wanted, lost and wanted some more can change in an instant. the sun will shine tomorrow, somewhere. children will be born, people will die, rivers will flow, goverments will fall, the entire history of the natural world will happen in one day and then repeat itself the next day. today we wonder but tomorrow we hope...... one day, thats all we get, jc

i drink red wine

i drink red wine, i love the stuff. i'd like to meet the first person who decided to crush some grapes and bottle the juice.i'd like to shake their hand. it looks good in a glass, mysteriously swirling about. i smell it before it hits my lips. i drink red wine, mostly in the winter though any time is good. some crusty bread, a crumble of cheese and a full glass of cabernet, perhaps someone to share it with, ah those are the good things in life. when you reach a certain age in life and perhaps some of your dreams remain miles away and you begin to take stock.....well its always good to start with a glass of red wine. you can't change the past and i wonder about the future and whats in store and you can lose alot of sleep and worry yourself sick but i know i shall have a glass of red wine and somehow i will end up just exactly where i'm going. we came into this life, naked and afraid but when they bury me i hope to be accompanied by a bottle of the red. no more no less. jc

onosnow

like a true, stoic new englander, i have been tramping around outside today, pushing little piles of snow into bigger piles, all the while the snow keeps coming down oblivious to my best efforts. i'm sure theres an allegory in there somewhere but for now i''ll continue my quest. why you ask? why on earth would anyone live in new england from november till......april? may? well i was born here, i do love the lay of the land, the historical charm of it all, a certain baseball team and many more reasons too numerous to list . however when we reach single digits, not too often, but when we do and the sun goes on vacation for a spell and ice grips our gnarled fingers while we try and free our cars from winter .....i can see how ninety degee weather and beautiful surf and soft white sand creeping across my towel does hold a certain appeal. and maybe someday thats what life will be....but not today. today i'm back outside, fighting the drifts, stoic as ever. jc

code

i know what will liven up this blog o mine, code. i could encrypt secret messages, biblical in form, and plant them throughtout. it worked for that divinci guy. soon people from all over the planet will be drawn to these wise tales woven into a long running narrative [hell, i got time]....in my home town people lined up to see a tree bearing [i'm told] a likeness of the virgin mary. i know folks oui there are desperate to believe, to believe in something. most of our heroes are long dead, the current crop just don't cut it. now i'm no prophet, not even particulary religious and i haven't wandered the wilderness for the last forty years but i do know a little and a little can go along way if you desire, desire to know more. one foot in front of the other, small steps. i think i would have taken that apple too, if offered. jc

feeling bloggy

home today, head and body ache. not doing too well this winter in my battle against cold and flu militias, the little bastards. just wondering where these words go? do they traverse the planet, unread, unloved? do major publishing houses, feeling pinched by traditional sources, scour these pages in hope of mining a few nuggets? if so i better be careful of content as well as spelling as my ancient computer contains no spellcheck [i glance at the screen every once in awhile, that's my spellcheck]also my habit of pecking away at the keys keeps me from getting too far ahead of myself. anyhoo, my coffee cup beckons, the great cold outdoors lies before me like MT. EVEREST and intrepid traveler must begin today's journey, look forward to ya''ll again, jc

hiber nation

wouldn't you like to curl up in a ball and sleep right through winter, waking only to the warm scent of spring and a rumbling in the belly. bear with me, i'm not suggesting we suspend our daily lives, shut out the world and all its clutter, slow our breathing to a crawl and rejuvenate body and soul......why yes, maybe that is what i'm suggesting. of course a simple migration to warmer climes makes more sense.........i''ll have to sleep on this idea.....jc

losing my religion

i'm not really sure of what i'm doing, whom to trust, what happened to yesterday or even if tomorrow will ever be there. that about sums up, in a nutshell, what i'm hoping to find out there, in the big naked universe. i happen to be a 50 something, alone with my thoughts, never really understanding this life, just a passenger along for the ride.i''ll be back